Is My Partner Cheating on Me?

Do you think that your partner is cheating on you? Trust is the foundation of every successful marriage, and a cheating spouse dissolves the trust between you.

When you think that your partner is cheating on you, it’s hard to focus and make sense of the situation. Here are some signs to watch out for.

It’s important to know that these signs can be symptoms of other issues and not necessarily cheating. However, there is cause for concern if your partner has many of these red flags.

Your partner is disengaged with life in general and seems bored with their job or hobbies.
Thrills and danger suddenly become attractive to your partner.
Intimacy and sex are less frequent than usual.
Your partner’s self-esteem seems low.
Communication seems impossible because your partner won’t open up to you.
Your partner becomes defensive when you mention cheating.
Your partner seems to show you more attention than usual.
Your spouse is working a lot more hours than usual.
They pay more attention to their appearance than usual.
They spend more money and are secretive about expenses.
The importance of family events is diminished.
You find that your partner is lying to you.
Events that you usually attend together like church or prayers are less important.
Your partner seems disengaged or distant.

What Should You Do When You Think Your Spouse Is Cheating?

First remember that even if they show many of the signs listed above, the issue can be a number of possibilities besides cheating. You should remain as calm as possible and try not to jump to conclusions. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt and try to talk to them and reconnect if possible. Communication is important.

There are some strategies that may help you if it turns out that they are cheating on you:

Know that it’s not your fault. If your partner seeks physical and emotional intimacy outside of your marriage, resist the urge to blame yourself.

Understand that infidelity can actually get you back together again. Don’t give up on the marriage until you have talked it out. It could be that communication resolves the underlying issues that led to the cheating. Although divorce may be the final solution if irreconcilable, there still could be a chance to rebuild the trust you once had depending on the circumstances of the cheating and if it was a mistake that you can move on from.

Always remember you are deserving of happiness. Rebuilding trust can be a challenge when you know that the sacred bonds of marriage have been betrayed. However it is possible if both of you are willing to work at it and start over together. Know that you have value as a person, regardless of the outcome of your relationship.

Communicate with your spouse. If you are sure that your partner is cheating, confront them with the evidence in a non-threatening way. Have some empathy for their point of view, and notice the reaction. If your spouse seems truly sorry, it may be possible to work it out. However, if defiant, separation may be an option.

Get professional help and personal guidance. A good support system with friends that are usually upbeat and positive can help. Seek professional counseling and definitely avoid going through this alone. Count on the strength of the people around you that love you.

Infidelity can change your life in unexpected ways. It could be the end of your relationship but not always. Sometimes infidelity leads to fixing the things that are troubled in your relationship and it is possible to come through this with a stronger relationship than ever.

There is hope regardless of the outcome. It is possible to recover from this and enjoy a life filled with happiness, as long as you refuse to give up and choose to give yourself the life you deserve.