Learning how to resolve money conflicts in marriage can be very beneficial. Couples have been arguing about money ever since it was invented. Disagreements over finances can be some of the most stressful arguments in your marriage. Studies show that issues over money are among the leading causes of divorce! It is important to get these issues under control. Not only will it improve your finances, but more importantly, it will strengthen your marriage too.
Follow these guidelines to learn how to resolve money conflicts in marriage:
- Agree on a budget. It seems like a simple task, yet many couples don’t have a budget. A budget is an essential tool for everyone, even billionaires. The key to avoiding arguments about money is for both of you to agree on a spending plan and stick to it. If an expense is not budgeted, make sure you discuss it with each other before spending. Many arguments will disappear when there is no one person to blame for overspending the budget.
- It’s difficult to get a budget right the first time. Good budgets take time to evolve over months. You will need to make adjustments to get it right. Have patience and make it work as you go along.
- Start with what you already have. Gather old bills and use real numbers. Don’t forget to consider expenses that occur less often than monthly. For example, think about medical expenses, car and home repairs to name a few.
- Be completely open and honest. Do you know how much your spouse is making? Are you aware of credit history and how much debt they have? A full financial disclosure can be an important factor in preventing arguments.
- When you know each other’s financial status, it will be easier to come to an agreement on a financial plan.
- It is absolutely paramount to be honest about all spending. Don’t hide purchases from your spouse. Have a conversation and be honest.
- Set financial goals together. If you’re both on the same page and working toward the same goals, it will provide a solid foundation and reduce arguments. Remember marriage is a partnership and you can’t have a successful partnership unless you are working on the same goals. Share a vision with your spouse and you will find that you are arguing less often about money.
- Share a dream together for the future and make decisions about how you will get there financially. Make plans and set deadlines to be sure you are on track to accomplishing your shared goals.
- Compensate for pay discrepancies. If one spouse makes more money than the other, consider splitting the bills accordingly. For example, the spouse that earns more money can pay a greater percentage than the other spouse. Instead of 50/50, it might make more sense to split it 60/40 or 70/30. Be reasonable about what you are contributing to the household based on what you can afford.
- Compensate for discrepancies in debt and expenses. Maybe your spouse has student loan debt or child support to pay. Consider this and make adjustments when paying the bills. Help each other out since you are a team going for the same goals. Be willing to share in the expenses just as you would in the profits.
- Remember how to communicate effectively when having disagreements. Of course you won’t agree on everything, but make sure you are having a healthy discussion and not a brutal argument. Remember to address the issues and not attack the person. It is better to say, “This purchase wasn’t within our budget” rather than, “You ruined our budget.”
- When there is a disagreement, make plans for how to avoid this situation in the future. Find a solution that will prevent the same problem from happening again.
Learning how to resolve money conflicts in marriage can be a great way to minimize arguments, strengthen your relationship and have a successful marriage. As an added bonus, it’s also a great way to get your finances under control. Follow these steps to encourage healthy finances and healthy relationships.
