Married couples often complain about how having a child changes your marriage. Relationships can be challenging when the children take up most of their time and put a strain on finances causing conflicts about money.
There is some research to show how having a child changes your marriage.
Learn how to cope with these difficulties and still enjoy a happy marriage.
- Results of Research Studies. Kids can be an abundance of joy and a blessing for many couples. However, studies show that this doesn’t always hold true. Researchers have discovered a significant effect of children on marriages after decades of research.
- One of the issues in many cases is that kids hurt the relationship because couples don’t have time to focus on each other. Also, due to the added financial burden of having kids, there are more expenses which adds stress to the relationship.
- Sometimes this leads to divorce because the added stresses of having kids puts more pressure on a relationship that may have already been weak.
- When comparing couples with kids to couples without kids, researchers found that there was less satisfaction with the marriage when the children were born.
- A very important factor to note is that not all relationships suffer from the addition of children. Sometimes the presence of children can actually strengthen the foundation of marriage.
- Myths about marriage. One factor that researchers point out is that couples believe having children will bring them closer together. As a result, they may have children to try to strengthen an already stressed relationship.
- Researchers thought this myth came about because children are needed as a necessity for survival. As a result, couples were encouraged to keep having kids to make sure civilization thrives.
- As a result of having children, parents’ finances and lifestyles and even their own identities suffer. These are aspects that can be hurt in a marriage. Your body may also change and your perspectives of each other will change as well.
- What to do about it. There is no doubt that children can be an absolute blessing in your life. Try to appreciate that and show them love while at the same time keeping your marriage happy.
- Spend time together as a couple. Remember what it was like before you had kids and set aside some time to rekindle those feelings. Of course it may be difficult to find a babysitter, but you can still be creative and make it happen. Try to putting the kids to bed early so you can spend some time together. Make if fun for the kids by having a “campout” in their room so they look forward to going to bed early.
- Also spending time alone is just as important. Don’t lose your identity. Spend some time alone to do what makes you happy which is key to a successful marriage. Make time to recharge and pursue interests and hobbies.
- Think of the days before you had kids and what attracted you to each other. There is more to you than just being a mother or a father. Remember that you are special and so is your partner.
- Sometimes resentment can set in if one partner stays home with the kids while the other one works. The one that stays home can feel overwhelmed and unappreciated. The one who works may feel stressed about providing financially and also may want to relax after a hard day at work instead of pitching in and helping with the kids. Always try to respect and appreciate each other and what each one contributes to the household and the relationship.
It is a fact of life that kids can consume your time, effort and finances. This is how having a child changes your marriage. Accept this for what it is and take steps to strengthen the relationship and the bond that you share with each other.
Remember that they will grow up before you know it. You may look back on these days as the best days of your life and know that it is a time when you overcame the obstacles associated with having children and strengthened your love and commitment to each other.
