You want to make sure you are building a solid foundation in a relationship. When you have a rock-solid foundation, it will not crumble easily. So it will provide much joy as you weather the storms of life together.
In the beginning stages of a new relationship, couples find they have so much in common to talk about! You may have the same expectations of the future that you both dream of having. However, as time goes on, you are growing the relationship. You are building a foundation on which the relationship thrives.
Marriages of the Past
In the olden days, it was common for couples to stay committed to a marriage for their entire adult life. Most people would be expected to stay married to the same person until one spouse dies. As a result, divorce was not common. Most couples would settle down and buy a home in a community where they would raise their children.
The common threads of building a solid foundation in a relationship were commitment and stability.
Characteristics of Modern Marriages
Today’s world is different as more global opportunities have arisen. It’s no longer expected that a couple will stay in the same community and raise their family there. There is more worldwide travel as global career opportunities present themselves. However, there is no reason why you can’t still have a strong commitment to marriage that grows stronger as time goes by.
Unfortunately though, many people today are scared to make that true commitment. Instead of knowing they will stick it out and make it work no matter what, they enter a marriage with the idea that, “I can always get a divorce if things don’t work out.” As a result, having that thought in your mind, even subconsciously, makes leaving that much easier when things aren’t working out as expected.
Commitment
The building blocks to a rock-solid foundation in marriage are based on strong commitment. It doesn’t happen overnight but rather there is a journey to get there based upon a familiar road map. The road may be rocky or it may be paved with gold. However, the important thing is that a couple takes the journey must be willing to stay together regardless of the bumps along the way.
In your journey, there is a series of stops along the way:
- Romance. Falling in love romantically is effortless. At this point, love is blind. You see each other as flawless and feel that you can get through anything together. This honeymoon period typically occurs anywhere from six months to two years.
- Adjustments. When the romance period wears off, reality sets in and you start to realize that your spouse is not perfect and their faults may begin to come to light. As a result, this is an adjustment period where you must learn to deal with each other’s idiosyncrasies. So now the real relationship takes root.
- Compromise. As reality sets in and adjustments are made, a power struggle may ensue as each spouse realizes their dreams may be altered. As a result, this is a time when couples may break up but if they can stick it out and make it work, there is a good chance of beating the odds and making it last.
This is a critical time of discovering how to solve problems, communicating with each other and resolving conflicts.
- Re-evaluation. Now comes a time where each spouse re-evaluates their relationship. They seek advice from family and friends to confirm that they made the right choice. As they seek affirmation of their happiness, it is possible that they may have an affair. Therefore, infidelity is more likely at this juncture in a relationship than at nearly any other point.
- It is critical to affirm their commitment and re-establish who they are as individuals.
- Together again. Going forward, they will now find a way to come together as one. Even though there will still be differences and conflicts, there is more willingness to forgive and make it work. After weathering the storms and getting through the road blocks together, the relationship is stronger and they are ready to move on.
- Acceptance. Here is the final building block in a rock-solid foundation. The couple has learned to express their own needs while looking out for the needs of their partner. For example, you wouldn’t be expected to meet every need of your partner, but you strike a balance between being individuals and being a couple.
- Now that the strong foundation is built, you can weather any storm full force and come away standing strongly together with the foundation intact. From here on, their commitment and love only grows stronger and stronger.
Conclusion
On top of the foundation of love and commitment, there are more building blocks of trust, respect and awareness to pay attention to each other’s needs. So with a solid foundation and the additional strengths, a relationship will always stand strong.
Remember that building a solid foundation in a relationship is a journey that you must take together with the intention of never giving up on your commitment to enjoy a successful marriage with true unconditional love for the rest of your life.
